Potty Training Made Easier

I have been reluctant to write about potty training because I don’t want people to think I think I’m some kind of expert. However, a lot of people seem to have trouble with this issue and ask me how I do it so quickly, so I thought I’d throw my “method” out there. Having just successfully trained little Hogan #6 – she is 2.5 years old – I guess my very ordinary method works OK with both boys and girls.

First, look for signs that your child is interested and ready. Allow him or her to accompany the same sex parent into the bathroom to see how it all works. I always explain everything I’m doing and why. I talk very matter of factly and use the proper words for body parts. Although we don’t use the word “urine” we use “pee.”

Next, we buy a potty chair and put it in the playroom or living room. It becomes just another piece of furniture. Sometimes we sit on it for fun. Sometimes we put dolls on it. Sometimes we don’t even notice it.

There will come a day when you will  notice that your child age 2-3 will want to clean everything. This is a really good sign that they are getting ready! Also, they will be able to put pants on by themselves (or be really close).  If and when your child comes to you and says that they went to the bathroom in their diaper – or “I need a diaper change,” then you know they’re ready.

Jack (now 5), who was almost 3 when I potty trained him, was left to be untrained a little too long. He was very resistant and since I hadn’t had a little one in a few years, I didn’t make a deal about it. I just let him go along in his diaper and figured we’d get to it when he seemed more amenable to the idea. That all stopped when one day, after a bath, Jack brought me a diaper and said he needed to poop in it. Well, if he knew he needed to poop and could hold it until I put a diaper on him, then he could certainly go in a potty!

I put the diaper on that evening, but the next morning announced that there were no more diapers for Jack (I recently did the same thing for Kiara as well).

I make the announcement first thing in the morning – and then, here’s the key, I think to potty training…you have to stick to it. I take all of the diapers away and pack them up. Then I allow the child to go pantsless for a day and we use only the potty. I let the child know that the potty is here and for one or two days I ask the child about every 15 minutes if they have to go. I do not load them up with salty snacks and drinks to make them go more. I just let them go when they need to. When they go on the potty, we make a huge deal about it. Everyone cheers and claps and we do the “I went potty” dance. If the child misses or goes in his pants he is still commended if he was trying to get there. If he just forgets, then I kindly, but firmly explain that “we go in the potty now. You have to tell Mommy or go to the potty when you have to pee.”

I do not use pull-ups or other disposable products ever. EVER!!! I never want my child to feel like peeing in their pants is an option. Even if we go out and about the first day or two after potty training, I do not put a diaper on. That is just confusing for the child. They will never understand how it all works if they have to put a diaper on sometimes. They will think you don’t trust them or don’t believe they can do it. You have to be a believer. I always bring extra clothing, towels, baby wipes and even the potty chair if I have a child who is very afraid of the big potty. But diapers are gone.

I am also a firm believer in bribery. I know, I know. But a couple of M&M’s after going pee in the potty never hurt anyone – and they are a great motivator, especially in the first day or two. Eventually, you just start giving out fewer and fewer M&M’s. No big deal. They won’t be eating M&M’s after they pee in college!

That’s really it. That’s my whole method. I find it generally takes one day of being firm and of reminding and rewarding and then a day or two of reminding and rewarding and then they’re about done and it’s a new habit. Be firm, be consistent and be a believer. But you have to make sure they’re ready. Don’t train and then go back to diapers…that’s a sure path to a 4 year old who is pooping in his pants to spite you (it happens, believe me!).  A 4 year old, unless he has other developmental issues, should not be in a diaper. No child older than 3.5, I believe, should still be in diapers.  I really believe, as parents, we should have the time to devote to it. It can be done over a weekend and it can be done easily if it’s just a part of the day.

Tags: potty training